Tanaka's Nightmare
by flyingwargle
Summary: It is a good day, Tanaka thought as he was on his way to practice one morning. That is, until he discovered their manager was actually a boy named Kiyoshi instead of Kiyoko. Crackfic, genderbent Kiyoko. Inspired by a prompt by musso-musso-black-forest on Tumblr.


Morning practices were the bane of Tanaka. Most mornings, he would sleep his alarm and be woken up by his sister, thus leading him to scramble throughout the house and then running to school in order to avoid Daichi's wrath. Some mornings, he would wake up before his alarm, blink several times, and then fall back asleep, only to jolt back awake a few minutes later to exclaim he was going to be late for practice. The rare time he would actually wake up on his own, eat his breakfast at a leisurely pace, and jog lightly to school, was a time Saeko would watch with a mixture of awe and confusion. This was one of those mornings.

"I'm off!" Tanaka shouted over his shoulder to his sister before turning to jog onto the sidewalk leading in the direction of the school. Saeko shouted "Have fun!" after him, slamming the door in her wake. Tanaka, a grin plastered on his face, quickened his pace, hoping to arrive at the gym first. He had a feeling today would be a good day.

Halfway along his route to school, he spotted someone else arriving at the intersection as he began to approach it. They turned to watch him jog toward them, eyes gleaming and a grin lighting up his mischievous expression. Tanaka raised his arm to wave at him. "Hey! Noya-san!"

"Ryu! Morning!" Nishinoya raised his arm to wave back, adjusting his bag strap over his shoulder as his friend joined him. "You're early."

"So are you!" the two second-years were never the first to arrive, always the last two. Sometimes they arrived together, most times one after another, but always out of breath. "Imagine the look on Daichi-san's face when we get there first! _We'll_ be the ones giving him the evil look for coming late."

Nishinoya started walking again, blinking thoughtful. "Yeah, but doesn't Asahi-san have the key to the gym? He's always first, no matter what happens. Next time, we'll just have to beat him first."

"You got it." Tanaka grinned at his friend, a light bounce in his step. He was still unsure why he was in such a good mood- he failed his test yesterday, was sent to the office for sleeping in class, and received a scolding from Sugawara for "accidentally" hitting Tsukishima in the face after overhearing him insulting his shaved head. This morning, though, it felt as if he was going to win the jackpot for something.

 _Maybe it's Kiyoko-san actually saying_ good morning _to me,_ he thought dreamily. A strange look made his creepy expression even creepier, making Nishinoya raise an eyebrow. He walked around the telephone pole in front of him. "Hey, Ryu, you better watch where-"

His warning came a second too late. Tanaka had hit the pole straight in the face, a bruise forming on his large forehead. Nishinoya blinked, surprised that that had actually happened. He burst out laughing, one hand on his stomach, the other pointing at the bruise on Tanaka's forehead. "Nice! How can you miss something like _that_?"

"Shut up! It hurts, you know!" Tanaka barked sharply. He gingerly rubbed the bruise, cursing himself for not paying attention. He walked around the pole and barely started walking again when another thought popped into his mind. _Maybe it's Kiyoko-san actually_ kissing _my bruise…_

His creepy expression turned creepier again. Nishinoya, having finally stopped laughing, gave him a serious look. "You okay, Ryu? If you're not up for practice then you should-"

"I'm fine!" Tanaka shouted to cover his embarrassment. "We're going to see Kiyoko-san! That's always important, right?"

Nishinoya stared at him a while longer, soaking in Tanaka's serious expression. He smirked, eyes flashing with understanding. "I see. So that's what it's all about."

"Noya-san…?" he had that look on his face that could be interpreted in two ways: he was going to say something brilliant or something brilliantly stupid.

"You came early this morning so you can see Kiyoko-san, right? In that case-" Nishinoya pointed at himself "-so did I!"

"You did?" Tanaka was surprised- Nishinoya was never someone who would admit that. He would usually say he was early because he had extra time left over from styling his hair to make him look taller.

"Yeah! I'll be the first one there! Kiyoko-san! I'm coming!" Nishinoya started running down the sidewalk at full speed, yelling at the top of his lungs. Tanaka blinked, his expression hardening a second later.

"Hey! Don't get a head start without telling me!" Tanaka charged after him, surpassing him easily. For once, he was grateful his friend was incredibly short. Height was important in a race if you weren't naturally fast. To his surprise, Nishinoya put on a burst of speed and took the lead again. Eventually, the two arrived at the gym out of breath and panting for air.

Asahi was staring at them, expression stiff with shock at their sudden arrival. "Are you two planning to race Kageyama and Hinata?" the two first-years were always racing each other to wherever destination they had. It was funny at first, but now the others simply rolled their eyes at their foolishness.

Nishinoya was first to recover and straighten up. His eyes were gleaming mischievously. "Nope! We're the first ones here! That'll impress Daichi-san and Kiyoko-san." Asahi opened his mouth to comment but Tanaka cut him off to scold his friend to greet their senpai first. The duo went on to taking their court shoes out from their bags, leaving Asahi confused.

The other second-years came a few minutes after them and helped with setting the net up, all three of them giving Tanaka and Nishinoya strange looks for their unusual punctuality. Tsukishima and Yamaguichi arrived next, announcing their arrival with a yawn and tired good mornings, followed by Sugawara. He yawned as well, stepping inside after changing into his court shoes. "Good morning- oh, look. Tanaka and Nishinoya are here."

"Of course!" Tanaka grinned at him. "Next time, we'll beat Asahi-san too."

"Then you two can stand outside until he comes. We can't rely on you to give you the key to the gym if this is only a one-time thing," Sugawara said with a smile. He glanced around, noticing the absent captain and first-year duo. "Daichi isn't here yet?"

"He said he had something to do so he'll be late," Asahi told him.

"What about Kiyoko-san?" Nishinoya asked, turning to them. The third-years exchanged looks, puzzlement crinkling their brows.

"Kiyoko? Who's that?" Sugawara asked, genuinely puzzled. Tanaka and Nishinoya felt their hearts freeze and then shatter into a million pieces. Their mouths fell open, so wide a fly could be trapped inside. "Do you know who they're talking about, Asahi?"

He shook his head slowly. Tanaka was first to recover the pieces of his broken heart, rounding on to the large ace. "D-Don't tell me you don't know her!" he shouted. "Shimizu Kiyoko! Our manager! Third-year! The most beautiful girl in Japan! She's beautiful and the goddess of all things brilliant! Help me out here, Noya-san!"

Before he could add more, the door slid open and Daichi's loud voice announced his arrival. "Sorry we're late! Let's start practice!"

Tanaka turned to watch his captain hurry inside, another person following him. They raised their head, eyes locking with Tanaka's. He felt the remaining pieces of his heart shattering and falling apart, never to become whole again. "N-Noya-san…! Who…?"

"Kiyoko-san…?" the two second-years gaped at the newcomer, a male student standing at 166 centimeters, dressed in the Karasuno Volleyball Club jacket and sweatpants, glasses perched on his nose, long dark black hair that flowed just before his shoulders. He blinked at them.

"Kiyoko? No, that's not my name." The male spoke, his voice soft and quiet. "It's Kiyoshi."

Neither second-year said a word. Both were frozen stiff as a statue, expressions stricken with horror. Daichi was unsure why the duo was acting like that. "Kiyoshi has always been our manager. Why did you think we had a female manager named Kiyoko?"

"Maybe they hadn't woken up yet," Sugawara joked lightly. His tone was faintly teasing but his expression was serious. "They were the first to arrive after Asahi."

"Well, in that case, let's start practice," Daichi said brightly. He glanced at Kiyoshi. "Kiyoshi, help me get the volleyballs out, please."

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Are you saying Kiyoko-san had never been our manager?" Nishinoya shouted. The other second-years looked genuinely confused while Tsukishima simply looked bored. Even Yamaguichi had conflicting emotions on his face. "But…I'd never seen him before! This is a trick, isn't it? It's really Kiyoko-san dressed up as a guy, right?"

Kiyoshi shook his head. "I'm a guy. I've always been a guy."

Tanaka wanted to say something, to prove they weren't mistaken, that they always had a female manager since the first day they had joined the club. "But-"

"See, dumbass! I told you we were going to be late!" Kageyama cut him off, the first-year setter arriving at the gym doors and hastily removing his shoes to change into court shoes.

"Okay, okay! Sorry!" Hinata bounced inside before him, noticing everyone was still standing around. He glanced at his captain, who was annoyed, Sugawara and Asahi, who were confused, the second-years, who were staring at their teammates, Tsukishima and Yamaguichi, who were silent, and then Tanaka and Nishinoya. "Huh? Practice didn't start yet?"

"Shoyo." Nishinoya's voice was low when he addressed his underclassman. "What's the name of our manager?"

Hinata blinked and tipped his head to the side. "Manager? You mean Kiyoshi-san?"

"Hey, Kageyama! You know who our manager is too, right?" Tanaka demanded, glaring at the setter. "It's a girl, right? Kiyoko-san?"

Kageyama was unfazed by Tanaka's creepy expression. "No, Hinata is right. It's Kiyoshi-san."

"See, Tanaka? It's always been Kiyoshi. Now, let's start practice, all right?" Daichi said, turning to head into the equipment room. "We're going to get a late start if we keep standing around. Warm-up!"

His team began to put their belongings on the benches to make room for their warm-up. Tanaka and Nishinoya stood to the side, watching Kiyoshi help Daichi take the bins of volleyballs out, a job that Kiyoko had been doing months before. They weren't imaging it, right? Kiyoko really _was_ their manager, not some random guy. Yes, it had to be a dream…just a dream…

* * *

"Hey. Hey! Ryunosuke! Don't you go sleeping in on me again. You have morning practice right now, don't you? Come on, get your lazy butt out of bed!"

Tanaka's eyes snapped open at the sound of his sister. She towered over him, eyes narrowed and arms folded across her chest. "Uh?" he mumbled, too sleepy to register what she was shouting.

"Morning practice! Today! Right now! You want to be late or something?"

Realization hit him like a volleyball to the face. He flung his blanket aside and scrambled to his feet. "Crap! Not again! Daichi-san's going to get mad!"

Within a few minutes, he was running out of the house in his shorts, club jacket, bag hastily packed and swung over one shoulder, and a mouth full of bread. He waved good-bye to his sister with his bread in hand and started running. Saeko sighed to herself, closing the door behind him.

He finished the rest of his bread in swift bites to concentrate on running. As he reached the intersection, someone else came running, veering sharply in the direction of the school. He was already ready for practice, all dressed in knee and elbow pads, hair styled, and bag over his shoulder. All he was missing were his court shoes. Tanaka sped up to catch up to him. "Hey! Noya-san!"

"Ryu!" Nishinoya didn't slow down for him, choosing to speed up. "Come on, we have to get to practice! Kiyoko-san is waiting for us!"

 _Kiyoko-san is always waiting for us,_ Tanaka thought. He caught up to his friend, the two of them running toward the school building. They arrived at the gym before Daichi made the call to start practice.

Everyone was already there. The second-years gathered together with volleyballs in their hands. Hinata was tying his shoes beside Kageyama, the taller first-year gulping water from his water bottle. Tsukishima was looking smugly at Yamaguichi, the latter looking embarrassed as if he had lost a bet. By the equipment room were the third-years, a volleyball in Sugawara and Asahi's hands. Daichi had a piece of paper while the girl beside him held her notebook and clipboard.

"Kiyoko-san!" Tanaka and Nishinoya shouted. They ran across the gym and jumped toward her, arms open for her to land in their targeted areas. "You're here!"

She ducked expertly, leaving the two boys to sail above her and land inside the equipment room, right on top of the dry mops. Dust clung to their clothes and hair, staining them. Tanaka and Nishinoya raised their heads, shared a look, and sneezed.

Outside, Kageyama muttered, "Why do the two of them always have to do that?" Hinata was suppressing his laughter and Tsukishima had looked away in annoyance. Yamaguichi and the second-years looked concerned but the third-years merely rolled their eyes. Kiyoko did the same before moving to stand to the side of the court.

"You two better stop messing around," Sugawara called out to them when they didn't move to stand up and join them. "We have to start practice soon."

"You could've really injured Shimizu if she hadn't ducked," Asahi added nervously. Daichi was staring daggers into the equipment room but he didn't say anything, only turning away to tell the other members to start warming up.

Tanaka let out a sigh, relieved to see that Kiyoko was most definitely a girl and not a boy. "Good thing Kiyoko-san is a girl. That Kiyoshi crap scared the crap out of me."

"Kiyoshi? What are you talking about, Ryu?" Nishinoya hauled himself to his feet, pulling his friend up after him.

"Oh…it's nothing. Just a dream. A…a dream…" Tanaka watched as something changed in Nishinoya's eyes. "A dream…where…Kiyoko-san…was a boy…"

"That's what I dreamed of last night too," Nishinoya almost whispered. "Only we were the only ones who were surprised by it…everyone else didn't know what we were talking about…"

Tanaka stared at him. "No way…are you saying…" his head unconsciously turned to stare at Kiyoko taking notes in her notebook. "…we had the same dream?"

Nishinoya had nothing to say to that either. They were both staring at Kiyoko until she noticed them, their eyes trained on her. She looked away and soon, their view of her was blocked by Daichi. Their captain was glaring at them. "Are you two going to come join us for practice, or what?"

"Y-yes!" the second-years flew passed him, flinging their shoes outside to change into their court shoes. While they were still dusty and awfully shocked by the realizations they had discovered, they still managed to practice with intense concentration, making up for the time they wasted.

Still, by the end of practice, they were utterly grateful that Kiyoko was their manager instead of Kiyoshi.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** I had so much fun writing this. This is my first Haikyuu! fanfic and wow, I love the Karasuno boys so much. The story idea goes to _musso-musso-black-forest_ on Tumblr. This story will be found on my Tumblr too, under the same username as this: flyingwargle. Thanks for reading!

 _Haikyuu!_ does not belong to me. I am just a fan. A really huge fan.


End file.
